Weddings and the stress that comes with it

Weddings can be a stressful time considering you are the center point in a major event in your life. There are two parts to the wedding. The act of making certain promises to one another, exchanging rings, and being joined together spiritually. The other side of the wedding is the event that surrounds the first.

Let’s talk about the event. Weddings have and always will evolve with the latest trends. The trend towards the destination is growing. The destination wedding typically results in smaller numbers of guests but trying to do it form another town adds to the stress. Hiring a coordinator is a simple solution but will add to the cost. Perhaps the first thing to do is determine your budget. Then divide the components of the event into categories, price out the categories and see how it all adds up. It is rare that the process of deciding on your priorities doesn’t come into play. Break down all the numbers and see how your budget lines up with the reality of how much you have to spend. This can be a good exercise for the bride and groom as it is the same process you will go through countless times in your future. Truthful and direct conversations should surround the process until you have a final budget and a plan. Another bit of advice, don’t talk about the wedding when you are tired, angry, or worried. Keep your eye in the main event.

A word about meeting expectation of others while planning your wedding. If you think you will meet everyone’s expectations,you are only going to be disappointed. It’s your wedding, not theirs. Sometimes a parent will be in the midst of trying to relive their wedding and innocently or intentionally placing expectations on your wedding. This may even involve the preverbal guilt trip. Don’t play this game as it will take away from the real meaning of the event. The buzz word here is boundaries. Make them and guard them with a stern kindness.

Staying focused on the real reason you and your fiancĂ© are doing this is because you are willing to publicly make a lifelong commitment to each other. This timeless institution is the base for an orderly society predestined by our creator. Even if you don’t consider yourself religious, the union of two people likely exists by a spiritual bond between you. The ceremony simply offers an opportunity to declare this in front of friends and family. There is something special about declaring your love for and commitment to one another in front of God and other human being that makes the whole thing more real.

Easily lost in the planning and coordinating your wedding is the moment the two of you will stand before each other and say your vows and promises. This IS what it is all about! Stay focused on that moment. That is the larger story. Whether or not your grandmother approves of the color of your bridesmaids dresses is a small story. Remember, when it’s all over, it will be the two of you creating a new pattern in your lives called marriage.

Most of all, it is a celebration, your celebration, don’t loos sight of this simple fact. Nobody ever liked the child that cried at their birthday party because someone was not acting right. Enjoy each other, enjoy yourself.


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